They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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