Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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