I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
