so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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