yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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