Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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