So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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