**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
