I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
