we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
