i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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