remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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