Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
