I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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