do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
