What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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