We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
