i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
