If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
