Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
