on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
