So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
