u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
