Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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