I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
