hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she told me i tasted like america
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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