I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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