Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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