Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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