Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I FOUND THE LEGS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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