hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
