i just had sex bonerless
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
