they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
