She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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