And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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