just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
