just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
