this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
