just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
