your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
