On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
