So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
