i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
