just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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