I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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