Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
