So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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