You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
