A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
vagina is talking i cant
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
