So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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