you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
