What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
